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Who acts violent with women? A monster, a mentally insane, a mad, a rapist? It's not so: the majority of cases speaks about “normal” people, friends, boyfriends, husbands, flatmates. People who love “their” women that when transformed into violent men and murders justify themselves by saying: «I lost control!».
Charge and repression are necessary, but it is not enough. Only thinking that Italy, until not long ago, legalized honour murder, explains us how violent behaviours against women were – and are still for many – somehow justified, almost considered understandable and anyhow “weakened” murders, not really so serious. Why?
Because «the man has to be strong», and strength is often confused with violence. Because the man is the leader of the family, he is responsible, and he has to be in control. «Who wears the pants?» «Who brings the money home?» The man has the role to ensure familiar order, first of all; the man has the duty to ensure domination, and it is therefore a right of his. We are taking it to the extreme, for sure, but how many people still thinks that a raped girl in miniskirt, somehow «was asking for it»? «The man is a hunter», in the end...
Violence has to be defeated strengthening women and making men allies in this war. Violence is terrible for those subjected to it, but also for those responsible for it. The man is often dominated by violence, and often an unaware victim.